Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize