Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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