Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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