He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
