That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
