So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
