she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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