Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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