Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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