why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
