Screwed.edu
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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