I faked an abortion last night.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
