the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
