when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
We need to rekindle our bromance
only you would photoshop your dick
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
well, you know. whores of a feather.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
