3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
