i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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