Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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