He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
