Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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