is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize