Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
