Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize