Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
