I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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