I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Randomize
