note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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