You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize