I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize