he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
