guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
