dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
