worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
