Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
All I want is dick and wine.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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