All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
