Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
