i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
