my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Did I show you my penis last night?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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