He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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