So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
