O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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