Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
