You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
