I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
