I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
my liver is dry heaving
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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