I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
