hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
vagina is talking i cant
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
we're so committed to being not committed
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
