My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
