no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
