I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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