And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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