Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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