i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize