well most of my day revolves around power hour
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
