im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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