you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
