I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize