I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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