Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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