k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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