He is such a slut. More and more my type.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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