Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
