Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
