Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize