girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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