why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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