at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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