i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
