the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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