About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
