I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize