you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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