OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
