Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
